It's winter all up in here

Dear Rexburg,

I wanted to formally thank you for the lovely weather as of late. I love nothing more than waking up to a blizzard outside my window. Do you know what else I love? Slipping on ice on my way to class. It's so fun when people stare at me while I lay on the ground, and give me condescending looks because I'm wearing my vans, not snow boots. To which I reply, "sorry, everyone, I forgot them at home. Sue me." I especially really like when it snows, and then most of the snow melts away except for a thin layer which becomes black ice that I don't know is there until I step on it, and then flail my arms like a fool to keep from falling. It's freaking awesome.

I just think it's really great that you're encouraging people to stay inside instead of going outside. Fresh air is really overrated. It feels so good to have all the blood rush out of my ears so that all I can feel are tiny, sharp, jabbing pains as the wind blows all around them. Sometimes I like to take my hands out of my pockets, take off my leather gloves, and just let them hang in the freezing air. I like when they turn pale white and are just about a step away from getting frost bitten. It would be kind of fun if they fell off, huh? I think I could learn to do without them.
        Don't let the frown on my face fool you. I love doing my hair in the morning and having all my work shot when I step outside into the blustery winds. The wind-blown, psycho look is what I go for anyways, so don't even worry about it.
       So tis the season to be jolly, Rexburg! On behalf of everyone living in this city, I just wanted to say thanks. Keep up the good work.

-An unconcerned citizen